Somethings that change "inside" a person is/are their dreams. When you're little you dream about fairy tales and Prince Charming' but, now we more or less dream about what we'll do in the future, things that are haunting us, appointments at the doctor or as a matter of fact we just don't dream about anything. The things i dream about now often involve pain. I remembered this one on the night i broke my finger:
Rushing down the hill with the slushy snow wetting my back.
I held to his waist as we catapult down the hill on his dark pink sled.
I remember laughing, wiping away the tears that dripped from my face because of our speed.
I kept shouting FASTER FASTER!
The thrill was to die for.
Then the night froze and the sky flashed from blue to gray as you stopped laughing but, started to scream.
I remember swerving, the sides started to shatter and melt away in the wind.
I heard your scream as i fell off the sled, rolling faster and faster down the hill.
Waking up to the scrunch of your boots as you flipped me over and whispered my name.
Lifting me on your already bruised back while holding the residues of our broken sled,
And each time you stepped i remember feeling both our pain.
It was killing you and me, you face turn black as we walked farther and farther away from the hill.
A cast on my foot and a bruise running all the way up and down my leg.
You sitting next to me your injuries gone,
Humming to me the song we sang together before we went to sleep.
Sitting up and holding your waist like i had on the sled.
Weeping because i still remembered it all, and all the pain wasn't even in my legs in was in my one finger.
You crying and over and over saying "Im so sorry"
I cried "I forgive you"
But you never heard.
Waking up from this was the worst experience in my life not only did my finger hurt like crazy but, the person i was holding on to... i couldn't remember his face. I only really remembered was that i loved him very much and that the real person who was on the sled with me, i didn't care for at all. So, to sum it up i was dreaming about the possibility in the future that i might love someone so much that i started crying for them in a dream.